When I was in junior high, I distinctly remember sitting in the cafeteria, staring longingly at the "cool table." I watched the cheerleaders with their boyfriends in tow, their cute little skirts, the jelly bracelets stacked high on their wrists and their teased up in just the right way (yes, that's how old I am). I longed to be part of that table so much it hurt.
Then I grew up. I learned to like myself more, to be less worried about what other people think. In fact, my "cool table" envy disappeared entirely... or so I thought.
But it has returned with a vengeance. Every time I see an author's blog, read their success stories and how they got published, learn about the long lines at their book signings, the old feelings come back so strong I can feel it in my bones. I want to know these people, go where they go, do what they do. I want to write about my trip to New York to promote my book, give thanks to my countless fans, celebrate the UK edition coming out soon. I want to be in the "In Crowd."
Maybe someday... sigh...